Why do toilets in motels have sashes around them when you check-in? Well, they've just been in the American toilet pageant.
There she is, Miss American Toilet
There she is, your ideal.
The dreams of a million toilets
Who are more than pretty
May come true in Atlantic Shitty
Oh she may turn out to be
The queen of dysentery
There she is, Miss American Toilet
There she is, your ideal
With so much excrement
She'll take the town by storm
With her all-American faeces and form
And there she is
Struggling for air she is
Fairest of the fair she is
Miss American Toilet
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