I've always been a slow mover. My dad once said that watching me was like watching a movie in slow motion. At least he thought I had potential to be on the big screen. Perhaps not. Perhaps I am so slow that I am actually moving backwards. I am Benjamin Button. I only just got my ears pierced, so that must make me at least 12 now. Even the 12 year olds make me feel self conscious. I mean, my pockets don't hang lower than my jeans shorts yet. Difficult for pick-pocketing. Denim undies can't be good in the long term, people.
I wear my sister's hand-me-downs and she is younger than me. It never bothered me.
I am at an age now, when other people my age start commenting on the fact that they are getting old. I feel like I was just born. Yup, I'm currently washing off placenta remnants. You don't see me complaining about my youth. If people are thinking they're getting old in their 30s, what are they going to think when they are 50? Maybe they'll be dead by then because they've been thinking that they're old for 20 years.
I happened to catch 'Sesame Street' the other day. Closet fan, really. I think the only reason people have children is so they can keep watching 'Sesame Street.' Since I'm 12, I don't care. Anyway, the adult cast seems to still be the same, and they don't look that different from 25 years ago. The muppets seem to have changed more. I wonder why. Gordon, Maria, Luis, Bob, they don't seem to have aged at all. So, Maria works in a fix-it shop which never gets customers, maybe the odd non paying muppet with a broken toaster, even though they never seem to eat toast. Well, Cookie Monster eats rice cakes disguised as cookies. I can't say I've ever seen Telly hoe into a jaffal with Prairie Don, though. Surely the 'Fix-it Shop' has been unprofitable and highly stressful over the years as a result, but no. They mustn't lease from Westfield. Maria looks very un 61 for a 61 year old. What is it then? Who put the 'up' into 'grown-up'? Does singing songs around a fake street light keep you looking young? Maybe she's born with it. Why doesn't 'Oil of Olay' sell singing songs in public with muppets to reduce the signs of ageing? Meanwhile, why did they change their name from 'Oil of Ulan'? I guess Ulan ran out of oil. Where is Olay anyway? Too many questions. I do have an answer, though. I am slow. It's ok. I only now feel that I am living how I should've 10 years ago. Back to the future with immature. That's it.
dogs and petrol x
